


Lebanon: Become Human

by siephilde42



Series: Siephilde's Rainbow Wings [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester - Freeform, Castiel becomes human, Don't copy to another site, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Smut, Smut in separate chapter, Some angst, soft smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27725591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siephilde42/pseuds/siephilde42
Summary: Cas cannot hold Chuck's power, so Jack transforms him back into an angel. After some deliberation, Cas comes to a decision.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Siephilde's Rainbow Wings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028029
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I seem to have a habit of referring to games I never played myself in my fic titles, in that case "Detroit: Become Human".

"Cas, what's wrong?" Dean asks, his voice at the verge of panic.

Cas groans, supporting himself by gripping the table. "It's all the power. Apparently this vessel cannot hold Chuck's power."

"Oh, _no._ " Dean is almost yelling. " _No_. Don't you _dare_ doing that to me again."

Jack grabs Cas' arms. "Castiel, let me take it. I'm strong enough to contain it."

Cas nods, sitting down and taking Jack's hands into his. "All right. Uh..." He closes his eyes and concentrates. Squeezing Jack's hands, he exhales.

The moment he does, Jack's eyes start to glow. They keep glowing for maybe one minute, then Jack lets go of Cas' hands. "There you go."

"Thank you", Cas says.

"Uh, so what does that make you now? I mean, regular angel with wings or...?", Sam asks.

"No", Cas replies. "Still wingless. Or again, rather."

"I could..." Jack raises his hands.

"No. Not necessary."

"Not necessary? But, Castiel..."

"I said no."

"Um... Okay", Jack concedes, a bit deflated.

Sams adds another question. "You feeling okay aside from having no wings?"

"Yes, I do. Don't worry."

"I _always_ worry about you", Dean says and immediately regrets it as it gives him the worst flashback to how he treated Cas back when they needed to close the portal to Hell.

Instead of taking offense, however, Cas says "I know."

_Of course he doesn't even protest. Frigging hell._

"Glad that you're okay. I think we're all a bit sick of losing you over and over. I... ah..." Sam starts yawning without holding a hand before his mouth.

"Dude", Dean says.

"Sorry", Sam says, bringing a belated fist towards his mouth. "Just..."

"Hell of a day, huh?", Dean asks.

"Oh, yeah. I think we probably should all be heading to bed", Sam chuckles.

"Well, not gonna argue with you there."

"Right", Sam says. "Good night, then."

"Good night, Sam", Jack says. After Sam has left the room, he smiles at Cas and Dean. "Good night, Castiel. Good night, Dean."

"Good night, uh... God?", Dean asks, frowning.

Jack laughs. "Name's still Jack."

"Course. Good night."

"Good night, Jack", Cas adds. 

Jack leaves the room so that it is just Dean and Cas.

"What the hell was that about?", Dean asked. "Why didn't you want him to fix your wings?"

"Dean, I...", Cas begins, then pauses. "Look", he starts again, "The thing is, the more closer to my original angelic self I am, the more... detached I feel. From... from the way humans feel things. And feeling detached, um", he looks up at Dean and smiles, "that's, right now, not how I want to feel."

The feeling that rises in Dean's chest is unknown, new, heavy and terrible. And beautiful. "Cas", he says, choked up, "I cannot ask you to..."

Cas silences him by rising up on his tiptoes and kissing him.

Dean laughs. "Developing a habit of interrupting each other like that, are we?"

"Maybe", Cas says, smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild smut, as promised. I'm going for soft and funny here. It's only the third time in my life I have tried to write a sex scene, so bear with me, please :) If you don't want to read a sex scene, just hop on to the next chapter.

When they reach the door to his room, Dean clears his throat. "Um. Just to clarify..." He laughs, clearly embarrassed. "... I, ... I don't want there to be any misunderstandings. When you say you want to feel things, are you just referring to, um, feeling affection at all, and to be able to express this affection with kisses, cuddles, hugs, or..."

"Do I feel the urgent need for sexual intimacy? No. Do I think I would enjoy this sort of intimacy? Yes. I actually do. So if that's what you are asking, yes, I would be up for that."

Dean briefly looks down to hide his blush, and then looks back up. "Yeah. That's what I am asking, I guess. So..."

"Dean", Cas says, "we do not have to do this right now. As I said, from my side there is no urgent need, so... it's up to you."

"But", Dean asks, "you, hypothetically, would be okay with doing this now?"

"Of course. To me, it's another pleasant way of showing affection. Would _you_ be okay with it? I mean, as far as I know, you have never..."

"No, I haven't", Dean confirms.

"So, if you are feeling nervous about it, or need more time, or..."

"I don't think so", Dean says.

"What?"

"I... I actually think I don't need more time. I... I would like to do this right now. If that's okay with you."

"It is. If you are sure."

"I am."

"Good."

"Okay, then", Dean says, opening the door. "Come in. Uh..." He walks over to the bed, picking up the crumpled clothes from his bed and dumping them on his chair. Internally, he curses at the empty beer bottles and the open pizza box with still half a slice in it which are standing on the table. He closes the pizza box, scanning the room for other things to be put away or covered up.

"Dean. Stop", Cas says. "Stop being so nervous. I have not cared about trivial things like this before, and I will certainly not start now."

Dean laughs. "Of course not. It... It's just..."

"Dean." Cas is looking at him intently. "You are not perfect. I know that. And I love you, just as you are."

"I... I know that, too", Dean replies, his laugh now a whiff of hysterical.

Cas frowns. "Dean, as I said, I can leave, and we can pick up this again another..."

"No", Dean protests, reaching out for Cas and taking his hands. "Don't go."

"Okay. Dean, if you're feeling uncomfortable at some point..."

"I know. Same goes for you." Dean brings his hand to Cas' face and for a while just holds him like this, looking into those blue eyes. "Come here", he says, gently pulling him towards the bed. "Let's take this off", he says, removing the trench coat. "Way _too_ much layers, Cas."

Cas fumbles with his tie to remove it.

Dean coughs slightly. "You know, back then, when you went in into that building to blast these angels away and took off your tie, that looked _... obscene._ Outright obscene."

The angel laughs. "That was years ago. Dean, you..." He is interrupted by a kiss.

"Sorry. Really becoming a habit."

"Sorry? I'm expected to believe you're sorry?", Cas says, amused.

"Now that you say it, no", Dean says, kissing him again and sliding his hands under the dark blue jacket to remove it. "You know, if you were able to sweat...", he mumbles.

"Yeah, yeah", Cas mutters, moving around to help Dean get the jacket off him.

Dean pushes him over slowly, covering his face and neck with kisses while straddling his lap.

"Dean", Cas gasps.

"Alright?"

"Yes."

Dean sits back up to remove his own flannel jacket and t-shirt. For the briefest of moments, in the back of his mind, there is the worry that his body might be, for some reason, off-putting. Then he sees Cas' face, full of utter adoration, and the worry disappears into nothing. He leans forward again to take off Cas' shirt. "So many buttons", he mumbles. "Unbelievable."

"I suppose I should have chosen a vessel with less layers of clothes."

"Yeah, definitely, you should have. I mean, dancers _do_ exist, you know", Dean agrees. "Lift up." He pulls it off and tosses it on the nightstand. He turns back and pauses for a moment, thinking _I'm actually doing this._ Dean takes a moment to gaze at Cas' upper body. _Feels right_ , he determines and leans forward again to kiss.

Cas moans, letting Dean explore his skin with lips and hands.

Dean soon finds out that Cas' nipples are sensitive. Very.

"Ah...", Cas breathes out. "Dean."

"What?"

"Could you roll over?"

Dean obliges, waiting for Cas to make the next move.

Cas pulls off their pants and shorts, first his own, then Dean's, and tosses them aside.

"The floor? Cas, really?", Dean protests, half serious.

"Sorry", Cas says, moving to get off.

"No. No. No picking them up now", Dean protests, grabbing his arm. "Will you stop taking everything literally? Come back here."

"Okay", Cas says, leaning in and kissing Dean's throat.

Dean groans, embracing Cas and gripping his back.

Cas pulls back slightly and puts his hands on Dean's chest, letting them wander.

 _Why exactly did us take this so frigging long?_ , Dean thinks.

The hands wander lower as Cas pulls even further back. "Dean. Can I touch?"

"You really have to ask?", Dean manages to say, sounding wrecked. "Uh, upper drawer..."; he waves at the nightstand.

Cas opens it, taking out the small container.

Dean clears his throat. "Uh, it also probably would be better..." he says, pointing at the pack in the drawer. "Give me that."

"Yes", Cas says, handing it over and opening the container while Dean takes care of the condom.

"Ah! Still too cold. You need to spread it a bit more", Dean squeaks when Cas touches him.

Cas chuckles. "Sorry about that", he says, temporarily pulling back his hand and rubbing his hands. "Better?"

Dean nods. "Yeah."

"Good", Cas mutters.

After a short while, Dean is gasping for breath. It has been some time, after all.

"It this good? Or would you like me to do something else?"

Dean shakes his head. "No. Just, maybe... Put one on. I want to touch you too. I..."

"Alright." Cas grabs the pack.

"You know how to use those, right?"

"I'm not _completely_ useless, Dean", Cas assures him.

"Yeah. Right. Sorry", Dean laughs. "It's just, with you I never know what to expect and what not."

"Well, yeah. The drawbacks of getting involved with celestial entities."

Dean chuckles. "Well, let's take care of you, celestial entity", he says, reaching for him. 

"And of you."

It is Dean who comes first, and Cas follows soon after.

Afterwards, they lie face to face, looking at each other, smiling.

"I'm sorry", Dean whispers.

Cas frowns. "Whatever for?"

"For... For taking so long. And... More importantly, I'm sorry for being a jerk recently. It... How I treated you after you failed to close the portal, this was... heartless."

Cas beams at him, touching his hand to his face.

 _How could I ever mistake this gaze for anything else than the love it is?_ , Dean thinks.

"I forgive you. Of course I forgive you", Cas says. 

"Thank you."

"Dean, there is no need to thank me", he says, softly. "Come here."

Dean falls asleep like this, Cas' arms wrapped around him.

Cas, of course, does not fall asleep. But he does not mind at all. After all, angels are made to watch over humans.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey. Where's Cas?", Sam asks, coming into the kitchen the next morning.

Dean looks up from the counter, where he is currently preparing ingredients for an omelette. He smiles. "Jack has taken him to Heaven for a while. Wanted to check if everything is alright there and to adapt a few things. No idea how much time has passed from their point of view; here it has been, like, quarter of an hour."

"Ah", Sam nods, approaching the counter to consider Dean's work. He notices a cup standing next to the ingredients, frowns and bends down to sniff it.

"Dude", he says, staring at Dean, "is that green tea?"

"Yeah", Dean confirms. "Thought it might be better to cut back on the coffee."

"Uh-huh", Sam mutters. "That's what I always told you."

"Well, you're right", Dean says, taking a sip. "Doesn't taste half bad with a bit of honey."

"Okay." Sam chuckles. "It's nice to see you take care of yourself for a change."

"About time there's a change, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes."

"You want some of this omelette? I can make more."

"Why not, sure", Sam replies cautiously. _There is not much you can do wrong while making an omelette, is it?  
_

"Okay. I'll..."

It seems that breakfast will have to wait for a while, because with a whoosh, Cas appears in the middle of the kitchen.

"Hey, angel. No Jack?"

"No, he will stay up there for a while to take care of things. He'll be back in a while. I expect he'll, from now on, mostly stay there and pop in here from time to time."

"Alright", Dean says. "So how's that going, a three-year old running Heaven?"

"It's actually going pretty well. He has already reorganized it so that there are no walls anymore, and it's not just memories anymore. So the people can do whatever they would like, what makes them happy."

"Wow. So, it's really paradise."

"As I always told you", Cas remarks, smiling.

"Awesome."

"I'll go back there over the next days, see how it goes. At the moment, it is, as I said, going well. He's getting input from both Mary, and", he hesitates, "uh, Naomi."

Dean's good mood is gone in an instant. " _Naomi?_ Dude, she manipulated and _tortured_ you. Naomi, of all people?" He makes the impression as if he would like to break into Heaven and kill her again. (Which, of course, is accurate.)

"Dean", Cas says, "I know. She has been complicated in the past. But as I explained to you, her main goal is to keep Heaven running. Jack is able to make his own decisions, and she's helping him executing them with her experience. I think the person he listens to most is Mary. So don't worry."

This makes Dean relax a bit. He forces himself to smile. "Okay. All right."

"So she's... she's not angry? Mom?", Sam asks.

Cas shakes his head. "Sam, until we approached her, she did not even know that Jack had killed her because she did not feel a thing. And she understands that it was an accident. She was very happy to see us again."

"Nice", Dean comments. "That's good." He looks at Cas. "How's Bobby?"

"He's well", Cas replies. As an afterthought, he adds "John too, by the way."

"Good. That's... that's good. Glad to hear", Sam mutters.

"They both told me to tell you that they are proud of you", Cas says.

"Well, they frigging better be", Dean comments.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next weeks, they develop a new routine. For some reason, there seems to be an unspoken agreement that Sam takes over the hunting cases (which get fewer and fewer as the days pass, which is probably indirectly caused by Jack shutting away Hell.) He gets help from Eileen, who has moved back to the bunker not long after Chuck's defeat. Dean and Cas, meanwhile, help with research, but mostly focus on other things. Domestic things, that is. Them going to cafes and Dean eating both portions, movie nights in the Dean Cave, Dean developing the habit of falling asleep on Cas' shoulder, Dean making more mix tapes and so on. Cas even tries to pick up baking. After he almost burns down the kitchen at his first attempt to bake an apple pie, it is agreed that he, for the time being, is not allowed to cook without Sam or Dean being present. All in all, except from the burning kitchen and some hunting scares, their life actually is becoming pretty calm, almost normal.

From time to time, Jacks appears, talks to them for a while over lunch or dinner, and takes Cas with himself to Heaven to tackle some things. The rest of his time, Cas virtually just spends with Dean. Sam is thinking that he never has seen Dean so happy. But something seems to bother Cas, he realizes after a while. Sometimes, when Dean is not looking at Cas, Sam will see a somewhat pained, worried look at Cas' face. This in turn, makes Sam feel uneasy. He wishes he knew what the matter is.

"Hey. Would you like to watch Terminator tonight? I'm aware Metatron has probably stuffed it into your head as well, but I'd like to rewatch it", Dean asks, beaming at Cas.

"Sure. But Dean, we need to talk about something."

Dean's heart drops, and his throat seems too tight all of a sudden. "Okay", he says, very quiet. 

"Dean, because Heaven is getting stronger, I am constantly feeling a pull towards Heaven. It is... It is unsettling."

 _So that is it_ , Dean thinks. He swallows."Okay", he says in a voice which does not seem to belong to him.

"Okay, what?", Cas asks, confused.

"It's... It's okay. I... If you feel you need to return to Heaven", Dean replies, in a voice which says the exact opposite.

"Oh. Oh no", Cas says, startled. He takes Dean's hands in his. "That's not what I'm saying."

"No?", Dean asks, hope creeping into his voice.

"No." Cas smiles at him, squeezing his hands. "What I meant was, as an angel I'll never really feel at ease here. Not with this nagging force pulling at me, yelling at me to come home. ... You remember how Jack once took human souls and transformed them into angelic essence? I'm assuming he can do the reverse as well."

This leaves Dean speechless for a while. Finally, he clears his throat. "Are you sure that that's a good idea? I, I, it's just that the last time you were human, and in this alternative future, as a human, you seemed unsatisfied. Unhappy."

Cas raises his eyebrows. "Alternative future?"

"One Zachariah showed me. Yeah. I mean, you were taking amphetamines to feel better, and doing a lot of sex orgies, and..."

Cas laughs. "I will not do sex orgies this time, you know."

Dean's face burns. "No, of course not. But, the bottom line is, you were unhappy. You..."

"Dean, I think what was made me unhappy, beside not having a real human soul, was probably that I felt useless to Heaven, not the fact that I was human. I rather think I have done enough for Heaven by now, don't you?"

"Of course", Dean agrees. "You helped restore it. Helped Jack fix it."

"Yes", Cas smiles. "And like I said, he is doing a terrific job with it."

Dean exhales. "It's... I don't want you to do this just because you think you have to do it for me."

"Of _course_ I'm doing it for you. But I am doing it as much for myself as I am doing it for you."

Something in Dean's chest loosens. "Okay", he says, and this time he means it. "If you're sure."

"I am", Cas says and leans forward, upwards to give him a gentle peck on the lips.


	5. Chapter 5

"You seem absent", Sam says.

Dean turns his head around to look at him. "Hm?"

"I mean, you have been looking to the doorway several times now. What did Cas want to talk about with Jack, again?"

"Well...", Dean begins, clearing his throat. "He..." He breaks off when he sees a figure in the doorway. "Hi there", he chuckles, getting up from the kitchen chair. "So, how do you feel?"

Cas frowns, thinks about it for a moment. Then he takes the hand Dean offering him, replying "It feels... right."

"Good", Dean says. "You sure?"

"Yes. The pull towards Heaven is gone. So this, all of this here, it now feels more like..."

"Home?", Dean suggests.

"Home. Yes. That's it."

It dawns on Sam what just has happened. "Oh. Oh, you asked Jack to..."

"Yes."

For several moments, there is nothing but silence.

It is Dean who speaks up. "So... Dinner, then?", he asks. "I have heard that a steakhouse opened up not far from here. Want to see if it is any good?" 

"Why not?", Cas asks. He turns to look at Sam. "Do you want to come, too?"

"Uh...", Sam chuckles."No. Not this time. Another time, perhaps. If it is any good, we could go there again, with Eileen. You go and enjoy your dinner."

"Thank you, Sam. I think we will", Cas replies.

As they leave, Sam cannot help but think to himself _10 years until the first dinner date where both of them actually can enjoy the food. Wow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to scream over Destiel, Saileen or the show in general with me, you can follow me under @loves_deancas on Twitter. (My other Twitter account @siephilde42 is mainly for Good-Omens related content. Unlike @loves_deancas, it is sfw.)

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to scream over Destiel, Saileen or the show in general with me, you can follow me under @loves_deancas on Twitter. (My other Twitter account @siephilde42 is mainly for Good-Omens related content.)


End file.
